Come Back to Me
by tiffdevol
Summary: This story is my attempt at illustrating Kate's fear, in written form, after she is cut off during the phone call with Castle in "Hunt." First time writer of Castle fic so any and all reviews welcome :)
1. Chapter 1

There are times she finds it hard to breathe; times she's not sure what exactly it is she's doing. Then there are times when she is so sure of herself that even the mention of him brings tears to her eyes. Even through all of the delicious confusion, one thought rings clear; true. She loves him. The words seem foreign in her mind and almost so juvenile as to render them useless and wanting. It's not the childlike love of a little girl for her first crush, no it stings much worse than that. The love she feels for this man is the heartbreaking, soul crushing love that most people go a lifetime without the misfortune of knowing.

She'd collapsed onto the floor hours ago, the tears coming in hot, quaking waves, and just as she feels she can calm herself, another wave takes hold and pulls her under so hard that she scrambles to maintain a hold on what's left of her fragile sanity. The amount of pain rolling through her was simply too much to hold onto, and far too much to try and explain to anyone. None of it made sense anymore. Maybe none of it had to make sense.

She would have followed him across the world and back but it wasn't what he wanted, and it wasn't what he had needed. Still it feels to her a slight, a punishment for not sharing sooner, not believing sooner. This was one battle her partner had to fight alone, but it didn't have to be that way. So now she sits crumbled on the floor of her apartment, unable to think, unable to breathe, and absolutely unable to cope with the level of heartache that seems to be overtaking her. Four years. It had taken four years for her to trust him enough to let him in, to let her walls crumble under the weight of his love, of his steady, abiding devotion to her.

As she lies helpless on the floor, her heart racing with uncertainty, the reality of her situation hits her full-force and she finds herself paralyzed by it. All of the times he has said it to her, all of the times he has made sure she knew what she meant to him, and she'd been so selfish in her love for him, believing him knowing was enough, that she'd never uttered the words. She utters them now as a seemingly infinite amount of tears slip past her lashes and trace the lines of her face only to pool onto the hardwood floor beneath her. She feels the chill through the grain and it settles deep in her soul as she says the words over and over, a litany into her floor that he'll never hear.

His last words play in a sickening loop through her mind. "Beckett, I'm so glad you called." Then the shot, and then nothing.

She had stood for an hour in total shock and disbelief while the flurry of activity carried on around her. The manhunt for her partner and his daughter was underway and as she stood powerless in the bullpen, the realization dawned that she might never see him again. She remembers grabbing her coat and swaying slightly before regaining her footing and walking out the door of the Twelfth in a daze. What she barely remembers is getting on the subway, and then arriving home and stripping out of her clothes before clumsily pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt; the t-shirt which is now soaked with tears that can't seem to stop falling.

She wakes up shivering, hours later, to the sound of her phone. Dragging her tired body off of the cold floor, she manages to fumble through the dark of her apartment to find it tossed haphazardly onto the couch. She mashes a couple of buttons and brings the phone to her ear, her hand shaking uncontrollably.

"Beckett." She rasps into the line.

"Kate?" An uncertain voice responds, a voice sounding so very far away.

Her breath catches in her throat and the shaking in her hand spreads throughout her body. She struggles to contain a sob; her chest painfully constricting. "Castle?"

The silence is deafening and for a moment she thinks she had lost the connection, or worse, that none of this is actually happening and she is still asleep on the cold hard floor. Panic begins to rise in her belly, until he speaks again. "Kate. I found her."

She falls apart. No longer capable of holding onto the pain and relief that is quickly filling her, she begins to weep uncontrollably into the phone, her body shaking, her mind shattering. Happiness and grief swirl through her until her emotions become a turbulent storm rendering her incapable of coherent thought. Just when she thinks she might drown, his voice reaches through the depths and pulls her back up.  
"Kate, I can't talk long. I just wanted to tell you that I'm coming home, and that I have her."

She struggles to focus on his voice, the sweet sound of safety she has grown so accustomed to. She can hear muffled voices behind him, and he seems to put his hand over the phone for a moment to acknowledge one of them. "Kate, listen, I...I have to go now. I lo-"

"Castle." She cuts him off, her strength slowly returning as she takes a seat on the couch and cradles the phone to her ear as if it's the most precious thing to her on earth.

"Yes?" He responds, hesitantly.

She feels the warmth fill her chest as a smile spreads across her face; the irrational joy soaking through every pore in her body. She is shaking again, but manages to utter each word slowly, punctuating each syllable to convey to him the depth of her belief in how far they have come; in how far she has come because of him. "I love you."

It is his turn now to sob, and she can hear him struggling to maintain his composure on the other end of the phone line.

"Just...come back to me soon." She breathes, and with that, she slowly takes the phone from her ear and presses "end."


	2. Chapter 2

She sits fidgeting, both unsure of and uncomfortable with herself in this space. She knows it's not rational, but she can't seem to calm her nerves as they run away with her heartbeat. She lets out a breath and lifts her eyes to the sign hanging from the ceiling across from her; watches as it sways gently in the stream of warm air coming from the heating vent.

"Welcome Home."

She considers the hidden meaning in that and smiles inwardly, even as the nervousness begins to show in her trembling fingers. She fights again to tie the tiny bow she has been working with, and finally getting it right, smooths the silver paper over the small gift-box she has balanced precariously on her knee. She spent an hour earlier just staring at it, wondering if it could really express so much more than just her words could convey. She's new at this and as scared as she is, she's equally passionate about what the tiny thing inside the carefully wrapped box means.

"Oh darling, don't worry!" Martha's effervescence momentarily shatters her concentration, and she looks up and smiles as the older woman enters the room, her arms outspread, her smile wide and beaming; motioning to the fruits of their dual labor as the smell of pancakes begins to waft in from the kitchen.

Her eyes track Martha's movements and she nods. She knows she is being ridiculous, but she can't help but feel preemptively out of place in this impending family reunion. Castle's love for his daughter is like nothing she has ever seen or experienced. It's a love that terrifies her in its ferocity, and as much as she loves him, and loves Alexis, she can not begin to imagine the emotional devastation he has experienced over the last several days. She has tried to be his touchstone, but the walls he built were so high, it would have taken her a millenia to scale them.

It has been her first taste of what she spent four years doing to him, and it hurts. When every cell in her body wanted nothing more than to be close to him, to breathe in his scent, and wrap him in the safety of her arms at night, he had pushed her away. When before they would steal moments just to be near one another, clandestine fingers connecting over a coffee mug, now he couldn't bring himself to touch her. Intellectually she knows he is in pain, and that he is compartmentalizing. Emotionally she resolves never to admit to him just how badly it hurts.

Martha's gaze lands on hers, and immediately sensing the younger woman's inner turmoil, she makes her way over to the couch and sits next to Kate; taking one of Kate's hands in her own.

"Kate, look at me." Martha commands, searching her face.

Kate sighs, then takes the package balanced on her lap and gently sets it on the arm of the couch before turning to regard her seriously. There were few times Kate looked at Martha and saw Rick, but sitting here with his mother's hand grasping hers, feeling the strength beat into her with every soft thump of the woman's pulse, Kate realizes exactly where he gets his irrational optimism. "I just..." She bites her bottom lip and tries to keep her trembling emotions in check; considering her words carefully. "This is a time for family, and I'm-"

"Don't." Martha cuts her off, vehemently shaking her head. "You are family. You've been family for a long time."

Kate tries to continue, her voice breaking with emotion. "But Alexis-"

"Loves you." Martha finishes, reaching an arm behind Kate and pulling her close. "Since she was 14 years old, Kate, you are the closest thing to a mother she's had." Martha lets her eyes drift to the framed photo of Alexis with Meredith next to the couch.

Kate tries desperately to hold onto a sob; the words hitting her hard and soft all at once as a tear escapes and slips down her cheek. The truth is, she had been terrified. The moment she heard the girl's ringtone, the realization had dawned that she too was missing, and it knocked the breath right out of her.

Martha looks from the photo frame back to Kate, her eyes fierce. "You're here and she's not. I could call her a hundred times, you could leave her yet another urgent message about her daughter, but she isn't here. You are."

Kate nods, the tears falling freely now.

Martha squeezes her gently. "...and to tell you the truth, you're the only mother I would want for my grandchildren."

Kate startles and pulls back, confused. When a Cheshire cat-like grin begins to spread on Martha's face, Kate regards her with a frightened look. "How did you-" she begins incredulously; her pulse tripping, making her feel lightheaded.

Martha reaches for her hand again, her smile illuminating the room. "When will you and Richard learn that I know everything?"

Kate stands, bringing a hand to her chest in a useless attempt to slow the pounding of her heart. "I...I haven't even told him yet, given the circumstances."

Martha nods in understanding as Kate begins to pace the room.

Nine weeks. A routine physical, and suddenly she was nine weeks pregnant. She was still trying to wrap her brain around the massive failure of her body to send her so much as a smoke signal, when Alexis went missing. After that, nothing seemed to matter. Nothing but finding her partner's daughter, whatever the cost.

"I had no idea." Kate continues, teeth worrying her bottom lip. "Not until four days ago." She sighs before turning again to look at Martha.

Martha stands and approaches Kate carefully, her hands clasped in front of her. "I could have told you a few weeks before that."

Kate lets out a chuckle, her racing heart beginning to slow, and she reaches out to hug Martha, clutching her tightly. "Thank you." She breathes into the older woman's hair. "For everything Martha...thank you."

Martha smiles against her and squeezes. "Kiddo, you have nothing to thank me for."

They stand in each others embrace for several more moments before releasing and making their way back to the couch. Martha curls into the cushions and reaches for a magazine from the coffee table while Kate picks up the small silver package from the arm, and taking a seat in its place, cradles the package in one palm while running her fingers over the carefully calligrophied "Alexis."

She has never given the girl a gift before, and if she is being honest with herself, she isn't sure it's her place. What she does know is that she loves Rick Castle and Alexis is a piece of him, just as the tiny thing growing inside of her is a piece of him. It isn't just the fear of nearly losing Alexis that connects her to the girl. It is now the realization that her child will be forever connected to her.

The door to the loft opens as a smiling Rick and Alexis step through. Martha leaps from the couch to greet her granddaughter, arms open wide, and Kate slips the silver package between the cushions before making her way to Rick and pulls him into a tight embrace.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She breathes, and he sighs into her neck, his arms wrapped securely around her. She pulls back to look into his eyes, her need for him to know her fear, all over her face. "Please don't do anything like that again without me."

He smiles at her and her heart backflips. "I won't."

She reaches for his face and brings it to hers, pressing a kiss against his lips as hot tears spring to her eyes. She loves this man, and the thought of nearly losing him is very close to breaking her. As much as she wants to yell at him, to let the tears roll, and to tell him everything, someone else must come first. She smiles, releasing her hold on him as her hands drift down his chest, then turns to Alexis. "Hi!" She enthuses, pulling the girl against her and holding on tight.


	3. Chapter 3

She knocks softly on the bedroom door, and smiles to herself. It had been a long and emotional day, and as the moon begins to rise, the warm lights of the loft and the crackling fire, dance around the walls and furniture as if they too are happy to find relief. She pauses before raising her knuckles to knock once more, but the door swings open and she is met by two brilliant blue eyes. For a moment she stares into them, still unable to believe she has been this lucky.

Alexis smiles shyly from the doorway and then steps aside, ushering Kate into her room. Kate enters quietly, one hand behind her back, and takes a moment to glance around. She had spent a lot of time in this room earlier in the day, and most of it was spent sitting in silence on the girl's bed, afraid to move. She had been keeping vigil in the girl's room for what seemed like hours, turning her mother's ring over in her fingers, when a reflection of light from across the room had caught her attention. She stood, and leaving the ring on the relative safety of the bedspread, made her way over to the dresser against the wall. The early morning sun cast hopeful rays of light through the bedroom window and one wayward beam had found a small metal frame to leap off of. Kate reached down and picked up the frame, her heart clenching. In it was a photo of a much younger Castle, his smile bright, his future full of promise. In his arms he held a wide-eyed, cherubic infant with a toothless grin.

"Kate, are you okay?"

She is broken out of her reverie by Alexis' worried voice, and looks back to the girl, a smile spreading across her face, warmth filling her chest.

Kate reaches with one arm and pulls the girl close to her, letting out a sigh. "I have something for you." Kate breathes, and pulls the small silver package from behind her back.

Alexis looks down at the gift and then back up at Kate, not quite sure what to make of this gesture. Kate had never given her anything before, and although Alexis knew Kate loved her father, and liked her, she had never seen this more emotional side of the detective. Even when Grams would grab Kate and pull her into a hug, the younger woman seemed stiff, unsure of how to accept the older woman's affection. This Kate is very different from the Kate she is used to. Alexis shakes her head, then stares back at Kate in awe. "You didn't have to-"

"Open it." Kate answers, giving Alexis a squeeze before handing her the box.

Alexis smiles inwardly and lets her eyes drift down to the carefully wrapped package she's now cradling in her palms. She gingerly takes hold of the string and pulls, watching the bow unravel. She threads the velvety string through her fingers so as not to drop it, then slips a fingernail through the tape and frees the package of its shiny wrapping. Carefully lifting the lid, her breath catches and she looks up at Kate, tears welling up in her eyes.

Kate feels her heart pounding, but stares intently at the girl. She wants to get this part right; to make sure Alexis understands what this means to her, what she means to her. "I'm sorry." Kate begins, her voice thickening with emotion.

Alexis looks up at her confused, but before she can respond, Kate takes a deep breath and charges forward. "I'm sorry that I was not there for you, that I couldn't be there to stop what happened." The relief Kate felt in her few brief moments with Castle over a long distance phone line that morning before the sun was up, was nothing in comparison to the guilt she now felt over not being there to stop this from happening to his child. New York was her city and Alexis was taken on her watch. Somewhere deep in her gut, she couldn't shake the feeling that if she couldn't protect Alexis, how would she protect the little life growing inside of her?

The tears begin their slow descent down Alexis' cheeks and she nods, staring back at the detective, her chest painfully tight.

Kate reaches out a hand and gently smooths the girls hair, playing for a moment with one of the silky strands. "When my mother died, I felt lost and alone." Kate smiles wistfully and gestures to the box in the girl's hands. "I wore that to remind me that I wasn't."

Alexis lets the tears fall freely now as Kate reaches into the box and pulls out the delicate silver chain, letting the ring spin freely between them, its smooth stones shimmering in the soft light of the girl's bedroom. "Alexis, no matter where I was or what I was going through, this reminded me that even though she was gone, she was still with me, urging me on."

Alexis begins trembling as Kate undoes the clasp and reaches over her.

Kate carefully sweeps the girl's hair over her shoulder as Alexis bends forward, her tears spilling onto the floor. Kate clasps the necklace around the girl's neck and then pulls back to look at her. "You're not alone Alexis, and even if I'm not there, I'm here." Kate smiles and presses gently at the ring resting on the girl's chest.

Alexis nods slowly, afraid to look at her. Afraid to believe that this woman who she has grown close to over the last five years, could want her in a way her mother hasn't. Alexis absently plays with the ring hanging from her neck, and watches as the colors play across its surface. She's seen the detective wear this ring many times before, and knows how much it means to her. She couldn't remember the last time her mother had given her something that held any kind of meaning, let alone the life altering meaning this tiny piece of metal held.

Kate watches Alexis for a moment, and then reaches out to gently lift the girl's chin. "Alexis, listen to me."

Alexis looks up then, tears still slipping past her lashes, but she focuses on the detective and takes a shaky breath.

Kate takes hold of her face in both hands, her thumbs brushing away tears as they roll onto her cheeks. "I love your dad."

Alexis nods, two more tears slipping down her cheeks and onto Kate's fingers.

"...but more importantly," Kate continues. "I love you."

Alexis chokes on a sob, her face crumbling, and she moves forward to bury herself into Kate's chest. The pain and fear of the last several days pours out of her and she begins sobbing uncontrollably as the detective holds her tight, whispering words of comfort into her ear.

It isn't long before Castle appears in the doorway, and as he steps forward to comfort his daughter, Kate looks up at him and pulls Alexis more tightly into her embrace. Castle nods in understanding and slowly backs out of the room, as Kate closes her eyes and pours every bit of love and strength she has into his daughter.

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**_Huge thanks to everyone who has read, favorited, and reviewed! You guys are awesome and make this little foray into Castle Fic writing completely worth it. Massive fangirl hugs to Ky who has been my constant and my touchstone throughout this story as the best beta a new girl could have :) I'm already working on chapter 4. _**


	4. Chapter 4

He watches them as he stands half hidden in the dim light of the hall and his chest aches. He's never seen her like this, hell he's never seen either of them like this. He stands motionless as his daughter cries her soul out into his partner's chest and it's physically hurting him to not be able to touch them, to pull them both into his strong embrace and chase away the monsters and the murderers. Alexis clings desperately to Kate who is rocking her and whispering into her ear. Castle's heart clenches when he gets a clear view of Kate's face in the warm light of his daughter's bedroom; sees that she too has been crying. Kate releases his daughter, brushing the tears from the girl's face and lightly kisses her on the forehead. He steps further into the shadows, and takes a shaky breath. He is completely overcome with love for this woman and is not sure there's enough room in his chest to hold it. The way she holds his daughter, the way she brushes the sadness from her face, it is almost reverent. He's never seen anyone take such care with his child and he wishes not for the first time that things had been different. That somehow, barring their difference in age, Kate had been the mother of his child instead of Meredith.

Alexis straightens, and wipes the moisture from her face with the back of her hand as Kate smiles lovingly at her. Castle starts to move forward, but Alexis turns and he catches a glint of light from the tiny silver chain hanging from her neck. What he sees dangling from it sucks the air from his lungs and he feels his knees go weak. Quietly, he turns and exists the hall, making his way to the master bedroom; his eyes filling with tears.

He is standing at the bed, lost in thought, when he feels rather than hears Kate enter the room.

"Hey, Castle." She smiles, and he turns to look at her.

She is standing in the doorway, her hair falling in loose curls across her shoulders and tumbling onto her chest. He can see the slight rise and fall of her collar bone from under her milky, white blouse, and he can't help but stand rooted to the spot; taking her in. She looks different. Softer somehow, her rough edges smoothed over. The way she looks at him, her eyes bright and trusting, it's almost too much for him to bear. She takes a step toward him, but before she can move any closer, he closes the distance between them; grabbing her and pulling her hard against him.

She lets out a surprised cry, and his hands are suddenly in her hair, his mouth on hers in a kiss so painfully, desperately pure, that her breath catches in her throat.

His palms move from her hair to frame her face and he drops kisses onto her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks; his breath coming in hot puffs, and she nuzzles against him; melting into his touch. His lips finally rest near her ear and she listens as he breaths the words into her soul. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He whispers, honestly.

Kate slips her arms around him, holding him close, but his litany continues against the shell of her ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Kate."

She nods against him and then pulls back, lifting her palm to his face. She lets her fingers play across his temple before stroking at his brow, his blue eyes searching hers for acceptance. She smiles at him; knows how sorry he is. She's been there, done that. "Castle, you scared the hell out of me."

He leans into her touch and wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "I know. I'm so sorry I shut you out." He's searching her eyes, terrified she'll be angry with him, and not sure how to explain what was going through his head when he left her at the precinct and booked a flight to Paris. "I just had to get to her." He's not sure what else to say.

She lifts her chin and kisses him softly, letting her lips linger against his for a moment before pulling back to look up at him again. "I know."

He stares down at her in awe. This woman who loves him so completely without ever saying the words, and she never fails to surprise him. Almost five years together and he still loses his breath each time he looks at her. She stands in his arms, all strength and fierce determination wrapped in a softness that tugs at his heart. He can't truly believe that he's even standing here with her. That what started as his undying curiosity about her, masked as a way to write a few novels, has turned into something so beautifully real.

She's staring up at him, a smile playing at her lips and he captures her mouth with his again.

"Castle." She breathes against him, feeling the nerves fluttering around in her stomach, a tiny reminder that she has so much to say to him.

He pulls her tightly against him again, his need outweighing any reason to speak, and he turns them; walking her backwards towards his bed. She melts into his arms, warmth flooding through her, electricity charging her veins. He lays her back on the bed and crawls on top of her. She watches as a shiver runs down his spine, his eyes closing for the briefest of moments, before he tangles his fingers around a curl of her hair and bends to inhale it.

"I missed you." He murmurs into her neck, the deep timbre of his voice sending tremors to her core.

She feels the weight of him on her, pressing her solidly into the mattress and she lets out a contented sigh against his mouth. She's never felt this loved, and the thought that this love created the tiny little thing rocking safely in her belly brings tears to her eyes. "Castle, I need to tell you something." She breathes against him.

He mumbles nonsense against her cheek and she trembles beneath him as he brings his hands to her blouse, undoing each button slowly; punctuating each release with a kiss. When the last button finally gives up its hold on her blouse, he pulls apart the the light fabric, letting it fall to rest against the bed alongside her ribs; her chest heaving through the black lace of her bra. He sits back and stares down at her, reveling in the feel of her underneath him and brings his fingers to trace the scar between her breasts. God he loves this woman more than he ever thought possible. He bends toward her once more, his mouth again making its way to hers, and she grins against him; reaches to take hold of one of his hands.

"Castle," She begins, lightly squeezing his fingers and nudging his nose to get him to look at her.

He pulls back and fixes her with a heated gaze that makes her want to melt into a puddle on his bed.

"Please, Castle...we need to talk." She is staring up at him, on the verge of tears, and so very unsure of herself.

A look of concern clouds his features, but when he opens his mouth to speak, she is putting a finger to his lips.

She takes his hand and slowly trails it down her body, bringing it low onto her belly just underneath the button of her jeans.

His expression turns from concern to confusion because she wants to talk, but she's not talking. He feels the quickening of his heart as she drags his hand down her body, but then she stops, bringing his palm flat against the searing heat of her lower abdomen. He stares at his hand a moment and she hums beneath him. When he looks up at her, he sees tears slipping down her cheeks, but it's her tentative smile that takes his breath away. If he looks at her any longer, his heart will fall out of his chest.

"I want you to meet someone." She breathes, pressing his palm into her flesh.

Realization begins to dawn as a rush of emotion threatens to overtake him. He looks again at his hand and then back to her, not truly believing this is happening.

She watches him, her lower lip trembling. He isn't saying anything, and panic begins to rise in her chest.

She opens her mouth to speak, desperate to break the terrifying silence, then feels him reaching to undo the button of her jeans. He bends to lay his cheek against the warm skin just above her pubic bone and she stills her body; focusing only on the feel of him, of his tears as they slip past his lashes and roll onto her sensitive flesh.

He's breathing against her skin and reaches his hand up to clutch hers, his pulse racing to match her own.

She struggles to keep from falling apart beneath him and she swears to herself that she will never forget this moment; will never forget her partner meeting their baby for the first time.

He slowly drags himself away from her waist and makes his way back up her body, resting his forearms on either side of her head, regarding her with a wondrous look. "Kate, we...we made a baby."

Relief washes over her and she gives him a brilliant smile. "We did."

He hesitates a moment, realizing that this will change everything for them; for her. "Are you?"

"Happy?" She responds quietly, bringing her finger to her teeth; biting down gently.

She is going to be the death of him, lying there like that, staring up at him with love swirling around in her eyes. "How long?" He asks, raising a playful eyebrow.

She grins at him from between her finger and teeth. "How long has mini Castle been shadowing me, or how long have I known?" She asks innocently.

He chuckles. "Both, I guess."

She lets her fingers play across his abdomen, feeling the flex of his muscles underneath his shirt. "Your son or daughter has been with me 9 weeks now."

His mouth falls open in shock.

She trails her fingers up to his chest, drawing small circles above his heart. "As for how long I've known, I've known for 5 days."

That statement hits him hard as he thinks back to how he has treated her over the last five days. "Kate, you should have told me."

"Castle," She breathes. "Alexis was more important. Given the circumstances-"

He moves off of her and settles into the bed, pulling her to face him. He cradles her face in his palms, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on her cheeks. "You're important." He leans in and softly brushes his lips against hers. "You and this baby are important."

She feels the tears threatening to spill again and she stares at him, amazed at his devotion to her even after all of this time. "We were fine. We _are_ fine." She soothes.

He can't hold back any longer and captures her mouth with his, need spilling into her as he feels her hand curl around his neck, her hips thrusting into his. He rolls again on top of her and pins her arms to the bed, then bends to kiss her fully, swallowing her moan before it can leave her lips. She feels like fire beneath him and the more her body writhes under his own, the closer he is to coming undone. She lifts her face to his, trying desperately to catch his lips again but he pulls back and smiles down at her, wickedly. Her breath is coming in small pants and her hips keep rising to find purchase against his. He holds her in place, watches as the need rolls through her. She stares up at him, her beautiful eyes now begging.

"So you got me more than a drawer..." He muses.

Kate's laughter fills the room.

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**Holy mother of all flail fests...so that chapter tumbled out so fast, I could barely keep it all straight. Much thanks to the continued reviews , favorites, follows, etc... and huge thanks to the mother of all Betas, Ky, who has a mind not at all unlike my own :) Instead of making everyone wait for this, I figured I would post a new chapter 12 or so hours after the last on as a 'Thank You' and a 'You Rock' to everyone reading this story. **


	5. Chapter 5

**You are now in M rated territory. You're welcome (hopefully).**

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He's coming apart inside of her. The feel of her over him, around him; it's sending shockwaves throughout his body.

He buries his nose into her neck and breathes her in, feels her teeth bite down on his shoulder, her heels digging into the small of his back. He lifts a hand to brace it against the mirror behind her, careful not to let her slip, and he drives harder, faster.

The divine smell of her is driving him wild. It awakens a primal urge within him, and it fills his senses, tingling in his skin. This woman, who he has precariously balanced on his bathroom sink, her legs wrapped around him as he fills her, his hips working into her, is carrying his child. He wants to claim her, to make sure that she knows she's his. He has a fleeting thought of how completely sexist that is but his brain isn't the one doing all of the thinking this morning. Her body is slick with sweat and he moves his other hand to support her lower back as he continues his assault, her moans echoing off the tile around them.

"Oh god, Castle."

She clutches him tight and captures his lips, slides her tongue into his mouth as he strokes into her again. This is different. Her body feels it. Her mind feels it. She's had him inside of her many, many times over the last year, but something about the way he is holding her, the way he had pushed against her that morning as she was brushing her teeth before spinning her around and lifting her onto the sink had sent shivers down her spine. He had fixed her with a predatory gaze and she had known instantly what he wanted. Now she feels him expanding inside of her, her earlier orgasm heightening her senses and making her intimately aware of each movement against her cervix.

His heart is racing, fire spreading through his veins. He surprises them both when he lifts her from the sink, still joined, and moves her against the bathroom door. He's driving into her again and swallowing her screams as her nails dig into his back.

She senses his desperation as he slams her against the door, his hips furiously trying to establish a rhythm. She could take pity on him, help him end this, but she is enjoying the prolonging of this thing they've started before breakfast immensely.

His mouth is everywhere. His hands are everywhere, and she's suddenly very happy that Martha and Alexis left to run errands earlier in the morning. She can't stay quiet. Not when he is doing what he is doing with the slight tilt of his hips. She pushes him forward slightly and instantly regrets it when he slips from her.

He looks at her, his eyes glassy, his entire body exhausted, and she takes his breath away. Her tousled hair cascades across her shoulders and her body glistens with a light sheen of sweat. In the soft glow of the bathroom light she's luminous.

She smiles and pushes past him, dropping to her hands and knees on the tile of the bathroom floor just behind him. She can see him over her shoulder as realization begins to dawn on him and she watches him shiver before he drops to the floor behind her. She smiles back at him as she feels his hands on her, one finally settling onto the floor beside her, the other coming around to take hold of her lower abdomen, his palm against the flat expanse of her skin. She feels him enter her again and she cries out; he's stroking so very slowly and she wants to strangle him. She rocks back against him in a fruitless attempt to speed him up, but he's sliding back out, tortuously slow.

"Castle, please..." she chokes, barely hearing herself over the pounding of her pulse in her head.

He leans over her, nuzzles against her hair. "Well, since you said the magic word."

He smiles, feeling her clench around him. He picks up the pace and her moans begin to fill the room. He straightens behind her and moves one hand to her hip, the other still balanced against her abdomen. His baby. She is carrying his baby just underneath his palm. This beautiful woman, her body fluttering around him, his name tumbling from her lips, is going to give him a child. He's almost taken aback by the thought. Five years ago he was following her around, trying to uncover her story. Sure, he was attracted to her, and had his fair share of fantasies of coming undone inside of her, but nothing had prepared him for the last year. And _absolutely_ nothing had prepared him for what it would feel like to be inside of this woman, this frustratingly challenging, beautiful woman, as she cradled their life inside of her womb.

She brings one hand up to grip his against her stomach. "Castle. Castle, please," she begs, the familiar tingling rising in her core. She rocks into him, adjusting the angle, her breath coming in short bursts.

"Tell me what you need, Kate." His voice is rich, like dark honey, and she wants to turn around and drink it, do something dangerous with it.

"Harder," is all she can manage to get past her lips as the tingling reaches unbearable levels.

He obliges and begins to slam into her, the force creating an audible slap as their bodies meet in a much faster, much more primal, rhythm.

She feels herself spinning out of control with each jolt of him against her cervix and she squeezes her eyes shut, her slick palms slipping against the tile floor.

He tightens his grip on her, driving into her, and hears her cry out at the end of each stroke as he feels her tighten around him. He is about to explode inside of her, and he slips his palm from her belly and drags his fingers lower to bring her with him.

"Castle!" she screams, her body beginning to shudder, as he forces himself into her, his fingers deftly working her until she tumbles over the cliff, riding the wave hard. She feels him expand and spill over, warmth spreading through her, and she almost collapses beneath him.

"I've got you," he breathes into her ear as his hands move to hold her against him, to keep her from falling. "I've got you."

She hangs her head, her arms still braced on the floor, and she feels him give her hip a little squeeze as he pulls out of her.

He gives her a moment to regain control of her respiration and smiles when she pushes herself back onto her knees and turns to grin at him.

"Oh you liked that, did you?" he chuckles.

"Mmmmm," she responds, her eyes smiling. "There is only one problem with this scenario though."

She turns toward him, narrowing her eyes, her fingertips reaching up to feather across his chest.

"And what is that?" he responds, catching her fingers in his own.

"If we do that seven months from now, I might give birth on this floor."

She grins at the terrified look that flashes across his face, and stands up to start the shower.

"You coming, Castle?"

His eyes narrow, a lascivious grin forming at the corners of his mouth. "I thought I just did."

She rolls her eyes at his, admittedly lame, play on words and twists the water nozzle, thinking for a moment she should just leave it on cold.

"But if you're angling for round two, Miss Beckett, I'm certainly willing to try."

Definitely on cold.

* * *

**You guys are amazing me with all of the reviews! Huge thanks to everyone for all of the words of encouragement. Thanks to Beta Ky for her awesome, and I hope I am doing these characters justice. This was the hardest chapter for me to write, but I kind of just jumped off the deep end and tried not to drown :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Angst ahead, and a scene that gets a bit sexually dark. I won't ruin it for you, but just wanted to give you fair warning. Yes, it will all make sense in the end :)**

* * *

It had been weeks since they last talked about it, but he was still determined to convince her. After all, hadn't they had enough surprises? Asking him to wait for something like this was torture, and she knew it. Part of him thinks that she's doing it on purpose, forcing him to be patient when all he wants to do is go buy everything in one of two colors. The other part of him thinks that maybe what she wants is magic. He thinks back to a time when he longed for her, a time when he had to carefully scale her walls for fear of tumbling off, or worse, breaking her. How far she's come. How far they've come, together.

He leaves the store with a little box in hand, unable to stop himself from spending the money. She will scold him, and he's going to let her, but ultimately, she will open it and cry. And then blame it on the hormones.

Castle quickens his pace, smiling to himself and palming the gift. As he rounds a corner just blocks from the loft, his phone buzzes from inside his jacket pocket. Shifting the little box from one hand to the other, he momentarily loses focus, and that moment is all it takes.

The blow to his head comes swiftly, and the box tumbles from his hands and onto the sidewalk. He watches the ring slip free and roll across the pavement before everything goes dark.

_48 hours later..._

She heaves a deep sigh and stands on shaky legs. She's nauseous and fights the urge to purge the contents of her stomach onto the cold pavement. She takes in a few quick breaths, willing herself to calm down, as her hand creeps behind her to check for the familiar feel of her weapon strapped to her hip. When she makes contact, she lets her fingers splay across the grip, allows the feel of it beneath her fingertips to offer her some comfort.

The alley smells of dirt and mold, and she tries to keep it together, tries to ignore the crushing pain in her heart, but she's in a free fall. He is just gone. No leads, no witnesses. Two days of searching, and they had nothing. Nothing, until an hour ago when her phone rang and she had made a choice. She paces the alley and alternates between looking over her shoulder and checking for a message on her cell. As the minutes tick by, blind panic begins to take hold. She shakes her head, willing it away. Panic is not something she has time for, not now.

She turns at the sound of gravel crunching under tires and watches the headlights of the town car throw eerie beams of light through the fog as it slowly makes its way down the alley toward her. She's cold and afraid, but she knew the stakes the moment she strapped on her vest. She could lose him, or take a chance on saving him. If she's honest with herself, that seems a better alternative than giving birth in four short months without him. It was an abstract thought an hour ago though, one made with a heightened sense of fear as she worried for the life of her partner.

As she stands with her back to an alley wall, carefully watching the enemy approach, she feels the now familiar fluttering in her abdomen and tears spring to her eyes as her baby reminds her that her partner's not the only one whose life is at stake.

The driver of the town car exits the vehicle quickly and moves around the back to open the rear passenger door.

Kate squares her shoulders and lifts her chin slightly, a posture of defiance and barely held onto bravado, as she watches the man who called her an hour ago step out of the vehicle, smoothing down his dark coat as he makes his way toward her.

She fights the urge to draw her weapon and put a bullet between his eyes.

"Detective Beckett," he smiles, as he reaches out a hand to her. When she doesn't take it, he drops it to his side. "I'm glad you came."

She nods and stares up at him, refusing to make this easy. "I didn't have much of a choice."

He watches her with amusement. "I see you came alone."

She tightens her grip on her weapon, but her resolve is crumbling fast. "Where's my partner?" She asks quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

When he doesn't make a move to speak, she blinks away a tear and lets out a shaky breath. "Please, I came here as you asked."

He nods and moves into her space, using his body to push up against her, until he's crowding her against the brick wall next to the back door of a Chinese restaurant that has long since closed down.

She lets out a startled cry and feels the tears, pricking at her eyes and burning, as her throat begins to close. Jagged edges of brick dig into the flesh of her lower back and she looks into his eyes, pleading. "Please," she breathes, barely able to speak. "I'll let it go. All of it. Please just tell me where he is."

He smiles down at her and moves his hand along her arm and down her side. His fingers move slowly, purposefully, and he sighs when he feels her body shiver. Bracken slowly unclips the holster at her hip and removes her gun, holding it behind him as his driver steps forward to collect it.

She swallows hard as his hand moves back to her, this time slowly peeling back the Velcro tab of her bullet proof vest. She nearly stops breathing when his hand slips underneath and he brushes his fingers across her abdomen.

Her heart runs in triple time as he leans in close to her ear and whispers, "You've been busy."

Every nerve ending in her body screams to break his hand. The feel of his fingertips against her abdomen enrages her. The way he possessively takes hold of her baby, of Castle's baby, has her close to grabbing him by the throat and choking him until she sees the light leave his eyes. The rational part of her knows she would never survive it, that his driver would put a bullet in her before she could so much as get both hands around his windpipe. She can't help Castle if she's bleeding out in an alley, her heart slowing as their baby starves for oxygen. Instead, she tenses and brings her hand to his in an effort to push it from her.

He feels her go rigid against him, feels her hand pressing into his, and so he pushes her forcefully into the wall, reveling in how she sucks in a lungful of air. He works his hand underneath her blouse to palm the warm, tight skin of her belly, and moves in slow circles. He braces his other hand against the brick wall next to her head.

She watches in horror as he closes the gap between them and crushes his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. He slips his tongue into her mouth and pulls her hips into him and she squeezes her eyes closed to keep the tears from spilling onto her cheeks. She feels his hand move from her belly to trail its way lower, slipping into her pants, and she resists the urge to bite his lip and draw blood. This man has her partner. It's a mantra she repeats over, and over as he begins brushing his fingers against her through her panties. She sags against the wall, her fingertips scraping the brick behind her as hot, angry tears begin to stream down her face.

She feels more fluttering in her womb and she wants to be sick. Her heart. It's always in tune with her heart. Whenever she works out, when she and Rick make love, the baby always responds to her heartbeat. She offers up a silent prayer to whoever may be listening that the little thing rocking inside of her remains oblivious as to how completely terrified its mother is; that for her child, this is just another day jogging or lying cuddled in the arms of her partner, drowning in his scent.

When he slips his fingers out of her pants and breaks free from her mouth, he watches her open her eyes and he smiles gently. "Get in the car, Detective Beckett."

It's not optional, and even if it were, it may be her last chance to find him. She feels Bracken grip her upper arm, pulling her to the open, rear passenger door. Ignoring all rational thought, she bends to climb into the car, sliding across the seat, her right hand slipping underneath her vest. She splays her fingers across her abdomen and strokes gentle circles across her belly, willing everything to be okay, not sure if it's the wildly kicking baby, or herself, that she's trying to soothe. She bites at her bottom lip and feels him slide in next to her. When he shuts the door, the driver speaks.

"Where to, Senator?"

He stares at her a moment, watches as she worries her bottom lip, and he feels a pang in his gut. He's not sorry, he's never sorry. Something about this woman fascinates him though, and it's entirely the reason he's left her alive this long.

What he feels for her is something else; something bordering on infatuation. She is a beautiful creature to him, but still, a creature nonetheless. He'll do with her what he wants, when he wants, but some part of him wants to see her succeed. He wants her to beg, to plead, and on more than one occasion he's imagined that being underneath him. But he sees the fight in her, and strangely he wants her to overcome.

Perhaps some part of him wants to be her, feels that perhaps that will make him a better man. Her stunt, earlier this year, tackling him to the ground before he was blown apart by a bomb, had bought her a great deal of time but he needs her to know what he is capable of. The balance of power has shifted out of his favor and he isn't at all comfortable with keeping the status quo.

He needs her to know what will happen to her, and he needs her partner to watch.

"We're going to see Mr. Castle," Bracken responds, and his driver lifts an eyebrow.

Bracken turns back to Kate and watches as she squares her jaw, but he doesn't miss the tremble of her bottom lip, or the way her hand clutches at her abdomen. She turns to him, fear, pain, and perhaps a bit of defiance in her eyes, and he offers her a smile. He watches her study him, narrowing her eyes, before she shifts to look out the window as the cars pulls out of the alley and turns onto the street.

He is going to make her beg.

* * *

**Huge thanks to the very lovely KyinHi who spent the last 4 days with me going over this, and sending it back with more comments and suggestions. This was incredibly difficult to write for a multitude of reasons, but getting it in character, and dealing with Beckett having to kind of make an impossible decision to go it alone here, was difficult. I want her to feel a bit weak, but not necessarily to be weak, and it's a hard balance to strike.**


	7. Chapter 7

He hears footsteps enter, and he flexes his wrists against the restraints binding him to a chair. He's lost all track of time since he was knocked unconscious, waking up handcuffed in the back of a van as it sped through the city. He knows it's been at least a day, and he fears it's been longer. For much of his captivity thus far, he's been kept in a small cinderblock room with a metal door, one ankle shackled to a bench. The only furnishings, save for the bench, is a bucket, which he has made use of at least twice. Now he finds himself in a relatively spacious warehouse, wrists and ankles bound to a chair. He's happy for a new view, but not so happy that his new view probably doubles as a killing floor. His captors have said little, but he feels that's about to change.

The large, burly one enters and drags a metal stool over to where Castle is sitting. The sound of steel against concrete grates against Castle's frazzled nerves and sends a foreboding shiver down his spine. The man has removed his mask. Castle sucks in a breath. This is not good.

"Where's the file?"

Castle hides his shock well, but his stomach lurches as goose bumps break out all over his flesh. _Kate._ They're after Kate. He pictures her warm smile, feels her fingers fluttering at his temple, and he struggles to hold in the sob that threatens to escape his throat. He remembers the feel of her pressed against him as their baby tumbles around in her womb, reminding them both that they're no longer alone. He has to get to her, has to feel her pressed against him again, and he swears once he does that he'll never let them go. She must be terrified. He pictures her perched on the edge of her desk going on twenty-four to forty-eight hours without sleep, staring at his picture on her murder board as she tries to hold back tears. He wonders if Espo has forced her to eat something, and wonders if she kept it down. He has to get out of here. They know exactly where she is.

"I'm not going to ask you again."

Castle is snapped out of his reverie by a crack to his jaw, and his head lolls back as blood begins to seep from a cut on his lip. He sucks the lip into his mouth a moment and nods, chuckling. "Do you really think I'm going to tell you?"

This is met with another blow, this time to his temple, and he feels the man's knuckles crack as they make contact with the side of his face. He closes his eyes a moment, as the momentary sharp pain is replaced by a throbbing ache.

"I could do this all day," the burly man responds, before standing and picking up the metal stool.

Castle hears it scrape across the floor and he takes a breath, preparing himself for what he knows is coming. "I realize this must be a great workout, but I'm sure if you just lay off the cheeseburg-"

The stool swings hard and makes contact with Castle's left side, knocking all the air out of him. Blinding pain overtakes him, as he struggles to catch his breath. He chuckles again, though this time he's pretty sure there's a sob mixed in too. "You know? You hit like a girl."

The next blow connects with the same side and this time he feels ribs crack as his chair tumbles over, his head hitting the cement in a sickening thud. He can taste blood in his mouth and feels the sting of what must be a contusion on the right side of his forehead. He has a fleeting thought that this must be what a turtle feels like before it's hit by a car. He wiggles his wrists a bit, but to no avail. Ultimately, he must wait for his captor to either kick in his head or lift him off the floor.

He waits as the man takes a step toward him, smiles inwardly at how his brain wants to rotate the picture left and right side up his vision. He watches the man bend and feels his chair being pulled up from the floor before the man lets go with a groan. The legs teeter a bit before coming to rest evenly on the floor. Castle lets out a shaky breath. He's aching everywhere, and just to breathe causes blinding pain; sharp on the inhale, fiery on the exhale. But he gains some small satisfaction in the fact that his overweight captor is breaking a sweat. A small, desperate chuckle attempts to break free but instead Castle coughs. He nearly passes out from the pain.

"Mr. Castle, I realize you have a lot at stake, but I'm going to make this really easy for you."

The burly one signals to his partner and the man nods before turning and stepping through a doorway at the far end of the warehouse.

Castle is suddenly very interested in what the second man is doing, and it's becoming harder to keep control of his emotions. He looks from the burly one to the doorway and he can't help but feel that something very bad is impending. He feels his heart begin to race even as his mind tells itself to remain calm.

He can't panic, not now.

It's then that his large, brawny friend pulls a bandana from his pocket and steps behind Castle. He brings the cloth around and over Castle's eyes, tying it tight from the back. The side of his head stings as the fibers of the cloth tighten into the scraped flesh.

Everything goes dark.

Castle's other senses begin to take over then, and even with the throbbing in his skull, he begins to detect three distinct sets of footsteps entering from the far side of the room.

What he hears next nearly stops his heart.

"Castle?"

An angry, terrified sob escapes his throat and he twists his wrists and ankles against their restraints until they are raw and bleeding. He hops his chair, thrashing his body to the side, as his heart trips into a frantic rhythm.

No, no, no... This can't be happening.

"He doesn't need to be blindfolded for this."

Castle's head snaps up. He knows that voice, and what's worse is that he knows she is with him. He doesn't even have to hear her shaky voice call out his name; it's just above a whisper anyway.

He can smell her. He can feel her, just feet away from him.

Hot, desperate tears begin to stream down his face, soaking the cloth covering his eyes and stinging the split in his lip. He's going to kill them. All of them. She can't be here. He repeats it over and over in his head as he feels Bracken move closer.

_She can't be here._

He feels the blindfold being untied from his head and then the dim light of the warehouse filters in as he blinks her into view. She's standing next to Bracken, her eyes locked on his, but the senator's hand is gripping her upper arm, his pale, white fingers digging into her flesh. A surge of white hot anger pulses through Castle's veins. That is his partner, his unborn baby, and he is tied useless to a chair, completely unable to do a thing about it.

He grimaces as he takes in her disheveled appearance. She's been crying, and her shirt is untucked; her vest hangs open at her side. He runs his eyes along her body, searching for any sign of injury, and he's grateful when he doesn't find any. She watches him carefully and he wants to go to her, pull her into his arms and never let go. Instead he pours his soul into his gaze as he nods to her, lets her know he is okay, and that she will be okay.

He's not surprised when the look he gets back drips of unbridled skepticism.

Castle turns his attention to Bracken, because he's not above begging at this point.

"Please, just let her go."

Bracken smiles but makes no move to release her arm. Instead, he uses his free hand to unfasten the other side of Kate's vest, slowly peeling back the Velcro, watching Castle's face as each hook and loop slip free from the other.

"Where's the file?"

Castle's heart sinks and he shakes his head, desperation beginning to take hold.

"Please don't do this."

Bracken lets go of Kate's arm long enough to lift the vest off of her, taking it over her head, before discarding it on the floor. She stands completely still as he moves behind her and slips an arm around her waist, letting his hand skim across her belly before pressing his palm flat against her. He leans in close and presses his nose against her neck, breathing in her scent.

Castle fights tears as his chest constricts painfully. His throat burns and he tastes bile at the back of his throat. He wants to rip free from the chair and break every last one of Bracken's fingers. The thought of him fondling Kate makes him sick with anger, but the thought of the man responsible for her mother's murder handling his child, as if just his touch will taint the baby and sully its innocence, sends him into a blinding rage. He digs his wrists against the restraints, tugging uselessly, powerless, while pain shoots through his tendons.

"Where's the file?" Bracken mumbles into her skin.

Castle watches as she draws in a long, slow breath, but she's not even fazed. She stares straight at him, relief swimming in her eyes. He realizes now that she wanted to come here, made a deal to come here. He wants to yell at her, shake her for being so stupid. Instead he just stares back at her, gasping as he watches Bracken slip his hand into the waistband of her pants.

"Don't!" Castle yells, twisting again in his restraints.

"Where's the file?" Bracken responds, a challenge in his eyes as he slips his hand lower, and Kate sucks in a breath.

Castle shakes his head and growls. "Let her go."

The thought of this man touching her, slipping his fingers into her and getting anywhere near their child sends him over the edge. His blood boils through his body and he balls his hands into fists. Whatever deal Kate has made to get to him, he's going to break it the moment he gets free. He watches in sickening horror as Bracken's hand moves in slow circles underneath the fabric of her pants.

"I'm not keeping her from going, Mr. Castle," Bracken responds as his fingers slip dangerously close to her center.

He wants her, and he's struggling with himself. It would be so easy to push two fingers inside, to twist in until he's buried up to his knuckles. He tells himself that perhaps that's what it will take for Richard Castle to tell him where the file is. But really he just wants to feel her, to taste her. He wants her to flutter around him and whisper his name, as another man's child thumps against the inside of her womb. He takes a deep breath and revels in how powerful this makes him feel, having her in his arms, in front of her partner with his hand inside of her pants.

"Get your fucking hands off of her!" Castle screams, raging and primal, as he bounces his chair forward, his left hand pulling free in a frantic attempt to get to her.

It's not the threatening words, nor the terrified look on Castle's face that makes Bracken slip his hand out of her pants and release his hold on her. It's the way she stands stiff and uncompromising against him. As much as she frustrates him, challenges him, he still has a level of respect for her that keeps him from violating her in that way. He won't do that to her. He wants her to want it.

Instead, he moves away from her and stands next to Castle.

"Where's the file, Kate?"

Her eyes grow wide as Bracken pulls out a gun and presses it to Castle's head.

* * *

**Thank you for the continued reviews! Love, love, love them, even those going, wtf have you done with this story? I didn't want to give you only fluff, and the whole Bracken thing has been in my head for awhile because I swear he has a thing for her. At least in my mind he does :P Huge thanks to my amazing beta, Ky, for reading the far worse versions of these, and even as she cringes, she suggests adding elements that make ME cringe. My goal is a chapter a week, so hang in there, I plan on making this a fun ride :)**


	8. Chapter 8

The seconds tick by agonizingly slow as she stands frozen in front of her partner. Her heart thrums in terror against her ribs, a ceaseless staccato. She stills all movement and feels the fear tingling through her fingertips, spreading up into her arms, threatening to pull her under a raging current of desperation. Tears fill her eyes as she regards Bracken with a heartbreaking gaze.

"Please."

It's all she can manage to push past her trembling lips as one hand subconsciously moves to cradle her unborn child. It's the only part of him she'll have left if he pulls that trigger. She takes a shaky step toward them and watches Castle flinch. He's so beautiful that it nearly takes her breath away. She mentally kicks herself for not seeing it sooner, for not loving him sooner. So much lost and wasted time.

She wishes in this moment that she could go back to when they first met and start a life with him then. She knows that their long courtship is what has made them who they are, what has made them amazing, remarkable, but standing here now on the brink of losing him, all she can think about is needing more time.

Bracken regards her thoughtfully, watches as the longing rolls across the features of her delicate face, but he makes no move to remove the gun from her partner's temple.

"The file, Kate." He asks her softly, though he's sure he already knows the answer.

Castle watches her move closer and he strains against his bindings. He can't lose her, not now. Not after he spent five years convincing her that it was okay to let him love her, okay for her to love him back. Not now, when she's filled every inch of his life with joy, when waking up next to her warm body in his bed still steals his breath. Not when the life they've created together already has a pair of miniature socks, sitting on the top of his dresser and waiting for tiny feet. He rakes his eyes over her, takes a deep breath.

"Kate, don't." He pleads, unashamed and desperate, his words laced with fear set to slow-burn.

She stands in front of him now, but her gaze is locked with Bracken's. Slowly, reaching one hand forward towards Castle, she lets her fingers reach across the space between them until she makes contact and feathers them across her partner's jaw. Kate feels the stubble of his skin scrape across her fingertips and she closes her eyes a moment, commits the feel of him to memory. She opens her eyes as a tear slips past her lashes and rolls down her cheek. She's so sorry for this; she lets her fingers beg for his forgiveness. She raises her gaze back to Bracken and softly strokes Castle's cheek with her thumb. Their baby offers a few thumps against the inside of her womb in empathy.

"There is no file," she breathes.

Bracken nods. It's the answer he had expected.

Castle slumps in his chair, all the air leaving his lungs as hot, desperate tears begin to pour down his face.

Bracken removes the gun from Castle's head and steps around him to stand behind Kate. He slips one arm around her middle and pulls her close, his fingertips digging into her abdomen to hold her in place. He lifts the gun to her temple and watches as Castle falls apart.

The man has his partner, his child. Kate's terrified expression, the way her tears roll silently down her face, sets his heart aflame and he knows he won't survive losing them. He watches her tense as Bracken anchors his fingers to their baby and he rotates his wrists, jerking in his chair. Every muscle in his body is screaming, but it's nothing in comparison to the deafening scream of anger, fear, and desperation echoing in his chest. Castle frantically twists in his bindings, and begins to sob uncontrollably. "No, no, no, no..." He repeats it over and over, his words choked with tears.

"Last words, Kate?" Bracken asks, before moving his lips to her throat.

She stares into her partner's eyes and lets five years of their life together pour into her gaze. "I love you," she answers honestly, as fresh tears slip down her cheeks. She offers him a smile, and she watches as he completely breaks down. She wants to reach out, lay a comforting hand on his forearm and a reassuring kiss to his temple but she's powerless with a gun held to her head. Her thoughts drift to her mother and her breath hitches. Were her mother's last thoughts of her father, of her? She feels her baby stretch inside of her and her soul bleeds.

His heart constricts painfully in his chest. He feels the bile rise in his throat until he gags on it, chokes to keep from vomiting. Blind fear has taken over and all he can think about is her. He twists violently, his left wrist loosening a little in its binding; blood runs down his forearm and onto the cold cement floor beneath him.

Bracken loosens his hold on her, momentarily caught off guard by Castle's violent reaction, and that moment is all it takes for her to surprise him. Good girl, he absently thinks as he feels her twist against him and pain flashes through his wrist. The gun falls, tumbling across the floor of the warehouse with a metallic clatter. Shit, he thinks as the moment of misplaced pride vanishes, this wasn't exactly as he had planned.

Kate disarms him with relatively little effort, sure she has broken his wrist, but he recovers quickly. She scrambles for the gun as both of Castle's captors jump toward her. Her hand wraps securely around the handle and she turns, firing off two rounds in quick succession, both hitting their marks. Bracken doesn't even watch as both of his men go down. Instead, he's on top of her and sends her crashing to the floor, the gun scattering away once more. She lands on her back and lets out a startled cry as he tries to pin her to the floor with his weight.

She can hear Castle screaming, and she fights to crawl backwards and out from under the senator. Bracken follows her across the floor and manages to pin her with his legs and hips; he catches her wrists and pins those as well. She writhes against him, trying to get away, but he holds her in place.

"Listen to me Kate." He stares down at her, watching the anger swim in her eyes. His wrist screams from the injury and the effort it takes to hold her down. She thinks that she can beat him, and perhaps under very different circumstances, she could, but Bracken knows it's not only herself that she has to consider. He waits for her to stop fighting, and when she finally gives in, her exhausted body slumping into the floor underneath him, he leans to whisper into the shell of her ear.

His breath is hot and moist against Kate's skin and she stills to listen. "Because I owed you, this is over for now."

He raises his head from her ear and she looks up at him, wide-eyed and confused. His expression turns serious, as he continues. "Keep in mind though, Kate, I don't owe you anymore."

He pulls back and gently releases his hold on her arms. She relaxes under him and he places his uninjured hand on the floor next to her torso, pushes back and moves off of her. When he makes it into a crouching position he reaches for one of her hands, and snagging it, pulls them both into a stand.

Kate allows herself to be pulled up and stares at him, understanding dawning. He is letting them go.

He smiles at her and lets his eyes drift down to her swollen stomach.

"Keep the little one safe. Wouldn't want your sense of justice to put her in any unnecessary danger."

She nods slightly at the warning. This man, the man who had her mother murdered in an alley to protect his secret, the man who put a gun to her partner's head, to her head, and who touched her in ways that made her stomach roll, is going to get away with murder. And she's going to let him. To get herself, her partner, and her baby out of here, she's going to let him.

She hears footsteps and turns to see three men in dark suits entering the warehouse. Bracken nods to them and she watches as two of the men bend to lift the injured captors that she shot just moments ago. The third man recovers the gun that Bracken had knocked from her grasp. The senator takes a step back and regards her thoughtfully, and for a moment they stand staring at one another. Whatever silent communication is taking place between them unnerves her, but she doesn't back down, choosing instead to watch him offer a ghost of smile before turning and walking towards the warehouse entrance. The men in dark suits follow, and soon, she and Castle are alone.

She stares at the doorway, standing guard for what seems an eternity when his shaking voice breaks her from her vigil.

"Kate."

She spins around, relief and adrenaline flooding her veins and making her woozy. She makes her way to him as grateful tears spill down her cheeks. Sinking onto her knees in front of him, she carefully works to free his wrists and ankles and sucks in a breath as his blood trickles onto her fingers. She peels back the bindings from his raw and bleeding wounds, as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth.

Finally finding the courage to look up into his face and meet his eyes, the outpouring of love and relief she finds there nearly stops her heart. She feels Castle's hands move over her as he leans into her and takes her face between his palms. She watches as he opens his mouth as if to speak, but he closes it again, instead bringing her face toward him so that he can brush his lips across her own. She lets her eyes flutter closed as the gentleness of his touch ignites a spark deep within her. He's alive. After two days of not knowing, after enduring the last several hours, she's found him alive. She sobs against his mouth and he pulls back, carefully brushing tears from her face with the pads of his thumbs. Her lip trembles and she stares at him, unblinking, afraid if she closes her eyes, he'll disappear.

Castle stands up on wobbly legs, reaches for her hand and pulls her up off of the floor with him, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her. He is solid, and real. He's alive. It keeps repeating through her mind like a mantra.

She lets him lean into her as they make their way out of the warehouse. The fading afternoon light casts a warm, golden glow on the vacant lot around them, and though they're in the middle of nowhere, all she can think about is the man beside her and his weight bearing down heavily against her as she helps him over to the tree line on the far side of the lot.

She helps him into a seated position in soft grass and takes her place beside him. He pants, his breath coming in short, painful sounding bursts, but to Kate, it's like music to her ears. He's here. He's alive.

After several long moments or reassuring herself that it's true, she finally looks at him. "I thought I'd never see you again."

He reaches out to run a hand through her hair and smiles sadly. "And I thought I was about to lose you." He lets his eyes drift down to her abdomen, and the fear builds in him again as he remembers the horror she just endured. "Is it, are you… are you both okay?"

She flashes him a brilliant smile and slowly nods before taking both of his hands and placing them against the warm, tight skin of her growing belly. "We're fine."

He feels the soft undulations and thumps of their child, rolling unimpeded in her womb, completely unaware of the danger they just escaped and suddenly the damn breaks and he's on top of her in the grass, kissing her so deeply that she's moaning into his mouth. He doesn't care how they will get home, or when, all he cares about is making her feel how much she means to him. As she wraps her legs around his hips and rises to meet him, her nails digging into the skin of his back, he pours everything he has into her until all she can think about is them. It's desperate and it's needy, borders on frantic.

She will worry about the physical and emotional terror of this day later. For now, she's content to find him again on the cool grass of an unseasonably warm evening in the middle of nowhere.

* * *

**Thank you, all of you, who have been reading and reviewing. I am so very sorry this chapter took this long to post, but I tried to make it extra long to make up for it :) I am also not finished with this story, so if you are enjoying it so far, there will be more. Much thanks to Ky for her awesome betaing and for her constant encouragement, and to Avi, who keeps me sane :)**


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